


but john wrote it

by rocketsfindplanets



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 07:10:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14075685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketsfindplanets/pseuds/rocketsfindplanets
Summary: But take John’s soft spot for the rookies, add in their history, and it was basically over before it even started. John knew what he wanted, and he knew how to take it.





	but john wrote it

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ PKD'S FIC FIRST <3

John had a soft spot for the kids.

He was captain, after all, and it was kind of his job to take care of them, make sure they were fitting in, make sure they were able to keep up with the pace of the NHL.

He knew what it was like, to be a first rounder, to be coming into the NHL for the first time with a million expectations on your shoulders. So of course he had a soft spot for the kids. He didn’t want them to have to be nervous. He did what he could to make sure they felt comfortable, he made sure they knew how proud their captain was.

Ryan was a bit of a special case.

John knew him before the team. Ryan wasn’t another Islander, Ryan was the boy he’d helped train, the boy he’d taught, the boy he’d taken under his wing from a young age. Ryan was Ryan, and god did that make things harder.

He knew he was supposed to be a good captain, he was supposed to be a good role model, and he was supposed to congratulate Ryan on making the team, all that. And in all fairness, John liked to think he was still doing a good job of _all that_.

But take John’s soft spot for the rookies, add in their history, and it was basically over before it even started. John knew what he wanted, and he knew how to take it.

The fact that they were going to be rooming together made it easy, and he was happy. It was too easy to kiss Ryan for the first time, all soft and innocent and even if John couldn’t believe that was the truth, he reveled in it, wanted more of it.

They were always so trusting, and Ryan was, too. He followed wherever John led him.

If John wanted more, whether it be at the gym, or in bed, Ryan gave more. It was simple.

It was _puppy love_ , John thought, and he liked having that focused on him. He liked that naive worship, the idea that if he said jump, Ryan would ask how high. It was Ryan’s story, but John wrote it, because he could, and because it meant he could write whatever he wanted.

Ryan was okay. He was a first rounder, and he’d put up some decent numbers in Niagara. He was never going to be one of the greats, but he was still a part of the team. The team needed better than okay, though, better than decent.

They needed a player like Mathew Barzal, really.

When he came in, he meshed with the team immediately. He was still a Thunderbird, and everybody knew it, but that October when he came up was like a taste of what was to come. Everybody knew that he would be an Islander come next season, and it was exciting.

It was exciting for John. He loved his team, but he had to admit it was nice to have such a good prospect coming up soon. John saw himself in him, a bit, and that was maybe what drew him to Mathew— or, Mat.

(“Just call me Mat,” he had said, smile soft, full of a hope that had been torn away from the others already. His gaze had lingered on John too long, and John had smiled back.)

It was smiles, always smiles, it was jokes whispered, even across the buzz of the locker room. It was clicking, out on the ice, knowing that this was what he had been waiting for.

It was over too soon, because Mat was heading back to Seattle, so soon, and John regretted that, a bit, that it couldn’t become more. Not yet, anyway.

And through the excitement it was almost too easy to forget about Ryan. Sweet, loving Ryan, who would never question a thing John did. Until he _did_ , and it honestly took John like a punch to the gut.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” Ryan said, and he said a lot of other things, too.

He was jealous. Jealous of Mat, jealous of the boy who had come in and stolen John’s attention, jealous of Mat because he was better, newer, the shinier object in the room, and—

John kissed him, like he had so many times before.

Ryan kissed back, like he had so many times before.

He didn’t let go of Ryan, kissing him until their hearts were racing and Ryan was a puddle in his arms, not knowing anything but John and John’s kisses and John’s love. “You don’t have to worry, Ryan,” John said, even though the kiss said it for him. “I only want you.”

(It was funny. He ended up saying those same words to Mat, before he left, curled up in bed with _him_ , thumb rubbing over his cheek so gingerly, a promise that it wasn’t over, that they’d see each other again.)

The season ended just how everybody had already known it would. They weren’t good enough, they never were. John held Ryan and kissed him and promised him that he would always be good enough.

Then, Ryan got traded. It was for Jordan Eberle, who was good, and John knew that New York had won the trade before it even got announced.

Ryan wasn’t in New York when it happened. When he came back, it was just to get his things, and to leave, because he had things to do in Canada, at home in Mississauga, and in _Edmonton_.

They got Jordan Eberle and they got Mathew Barzal, and John felt good about the season, for the first time in forever. That, and he was having fun, taking the rookie in under his wing. It wasn’t Mat’s first go at the show, obviously, but he was still new, and John wanted to make sure he was fitting in, keeping up with the pace of the NHL.

As the season got started up, he texted Ryan.

_Hope to “see” you soon._

_Get it, because FaceTime isn’t necessarily the real thing? :)_

Ryan had always teased him about “not using real emojis,” so it felt right. John sent a number of other texts, and he got some responses, sometimes, but nothing real.

He didn’t really get why. Ryan was fun, and he was pretty sure Ryan had fun with him, too. He was pretty sure that they had had something, and he didn’t really get why that had changed, now.

He’d always had Ryan wrapped around his finger, before. It had always been so easy.

John could move on, though, if Ryan was going to. He had a soft spot for the kids, after all, and Mat was always so upbeat, always smiling, always hopeful. Besides, take John’s soft spot for the rookies, add in their history, and it was basically over before it even started. John knew what he wanted, and he knew how to take it.

So he did.

**Author's Note:**

> i................. dont know why i wrote this. op if u want me to take this down tell me and i will :)
> 
> message me on tumblr abt this ship pls @ tylerparsons.. or send comments, requests, whatever. ty for reading !!!!!


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